Parenting Differences
by Ms.Informed13
Summary: AU Swan Queen, first in a series of one shots covering Regina and Emma's disagreements over raising Henry together. From time outs, to soccer games, to learning to drive- the ladies do it all! Unforgivably fluffy.
1. Time Out

**A/N- This is the first in a SERIES OF ONESHOTS. You know what that means folks, stay tuned and check my profile to see when I add another one. They will all be titled Parenting Differences- (and then something else) and they will all be based in a similar AU where Swan Queen is established and pretty damn perfect. **

**In this installation, Emma can't keep Henry in timeout so Regina throws her in too!**

* * *

"Henry!" Regina yelled, the brunette absolutely hated the raising of one's voice to be heard by someone in another room, but after being married to Emma Swan for seven years, the habit had rubbed off.

When there was no reply, the brunette stormed from her home office- the evidence clutched tightly in her hand. She found her son in the backyard, kicking a ball around with her wife. In actuality, Emma was kicking a ball while Henry ran after it with a smile on his face. Regina took a moment to watch the two of them play, hating to ruin their fun, but knowing that she would need to in order to teach their son an important lesson.

"Henry," Regina called, the boy froze, "come here, dear."

He did as requested, letting his head hang in shame already anticipating that good news would not follow. Emma trailed behind him with the soccer ball balanced upon her hip, she rose an eyebrow at her wife, but Regina merely focused on the small boy now standing in front of her.

Regina crouched down best she could in her tight pencil skirt and heels- it was a feat she had mastered over the past three years with the small boy, but it always amazed Emma how she was able to accomplish it. She gently grasped Henry's chin so his brown eyes were forced to meet her own.

"Henry, dear, what has Mommy told you about going into her study?" There was another thing Regina used to hate but now couldn't keep herself from doing- referring to herself in the third person.

"That I wasn't 'posed to." He muttered quietly.

"Exactly, dear. Did you go in Mommy's study earlier today?"

"No." He answered too quickly for Regina's liking.

"Are you sure? Because I found this drawing in there that I didn't do and that Momma didn't do." She held out the paper that was sporting a colorful crayon tornado, "Were you lying to Mommy when you said you didn't go in her study?"

With the evidence clearly displayed before Henry, the boy could deny it no longer, "Yes, I was lying."

"Henry, you know that means you have to go in timeout now." Regina sighed, straightening herself up and placing a guiding hand on the small boy's back to lead him into the house. They went to the corner of the kitchen where a small chair sat beside a timer. Regina gave Henry a pointed look until the small boy assumed his seat and Regina set the kitchen timer for five minutes.

As she turned to leave, she came face to face with Emma who had a small pout on her lips. Sighing, Regina grasped her wife's elbow and led her out of the kitchen, sending a warning glance over her shoulder at their boy.

"Ok, let's hear it." Regina said once they were out of earshot.

"You know I don't like timeouts."

"Just be glad you aren't the one who has to serve them."

Emma was about to shoot back some sort of retort when Regina's office phone rang, "Keep an eye on Henry, make sure he doesn't leave that chair until his five minutes are up." The brunette instructed, leaving to handle whatever crisis the town was facing now.

The call took under two minutes, and a loud peal of laughter from the living room drew her attention. Regina counted to ten in her head before heading out to the battlefield. She found Henry on one side of the couch, and Emma on the other. The blonde had wide eyes and a sturdy stance, much like a linebacker, "Henry, come on. You have to get back in timeout."

The young boy laughed an shook his head as his mother tried again, "Hen, Mommy isn't going to be happy if you don't get back in timeout."

The sight would be entertaining if it weren't for the kitchen timer that just went off in the background, stepping out from the doorway, Henry was the first one to catch a glimpse of the brunette. He froze in his tracks, the smile falling from his face.

"Henry. Timeout. Now." He didn't even try to argue, just dropped his head and shuffled back to his chair.

With the boy out of range of hearing, Regina rounded on her wife who was sporting a similar expression as Henry, "Emma, we have to be together in this. We are a parenting team, you can't make me out to be the bad guy whenever Henry needs to be reprimanded."

"I know it's just- I don't like being the bad guy."

"I know."

* * *

One week later, Regina came home to find the house eerily silent aside from a stern whispering in the kitchen. She followed the voice, and paused in the doorway to find her wife squatted down in front of their son, "Hen, did you take a cookie from the plate that Mommy made for the town hall meeting?"

There was a short pause as Henry stared intently at his feet, "No."

"Henry, are you lying to Momma?"

"Yes."

Emma released a drawn out sigh, "You've got to stop lying Bud. We've talked about this."

"I know." He shuffled his light up sneakers, "Do I have to go in timeout now?"

Regina held her breath, this was the moment of truth for Emma to finally prove that she could handle disciplining their son.

Emma brought one hand up to her temple and rubbed it gently, "Not this time kid, but you can't tell Mommy."

At this, Regina stepped fully into the kitchen, her heels clicked on the tile drawing attention from both members of her family. The guilt on Emma's face was instantaneous.

"Regina I-"

The brunette simply held up a hand to silence her wife. She crossed the kitchen and retrieved one of Henry's tiny plastic chairs from the family room, she placed it right next to the small one in the corner that was Henry's timeout spot.

"Timeout, now."

Henry dutifully went to his chair and Regina set the timer on the stove for him to five minutes, Emma just stood there dumbfounded. Her eyes flew between Regina and the extra chair.

"Emma, go to timeout."

"Are you kidding me?"

"No, I'm not."

Regina fished an egg timer out of a drawer and set it for five minutes. She waited until Emma sat down in the chair before pressing start. Once the blonde was settled, Regina turned and left the kitchen. She paced the entryway, counting in her head. She made it all the way to twenty-five seconds before Emma showed up in the doorway of the kitchen.

"Regina, this is ridiculous-"

"No what's ridiculous is that you can't handle this one small aspect of disciplining our son! Now go back into time out."

"Gina-"

"Go."

The brunette raised a stern eyebrow until her wife sulked back to the kitchen, she reset the timer for five more minutes and left the two to serve their time in silence. Henry's timer was one minute from going off when Emma tried again, she hardly made it out of the small chair before Regina was in front of her.

"Come on Regina, can't we talk about this like adults?"

"I tried that already, you've proven that you can't handle being an adult and you have left me with no alternative than to treat you like our child."

"But-"

Whatever comeback she had was silenced with Regina's outstretched palm. She waited until her wife had lowered herself back into the tiny chair before restarting the egg timer.

When she left the kitchen again, Henry leaned over and whispered conspiritoriously, "It goes quicker if you don't talk."

Emma smiled at her son, "Thanks bud."

If Regina weren't so annoyed with her wife, she would have had trouble holding back laughter. As it was, she remained stern just outside the kitchen- close enough to hear their whispered exchange, but out of their line of sight. Soon after, Henry's was the first to go off, and Regina went back to talk with him briefly about lying before he was dismissed to play quietly in his room.

"Ok Regina, I understand the point." Emma said once their boy was out of range of hearing.

"I don't think you do. You still have three minutes." Regina responded, her mouth was set in a hard line.

"I'm sorry." the blonde refused to return to the chair this time, closing the distance between her and Regina, "You know how horrible I am at discipline. I mean hell, the only discipline I got as a kid was a back hand."

The mayor felt an involuntary shiver go through her- it wasn't often that Emma brought up her time as a foster child, and it always made Regina mournful of Emma's lost childhood.

"I understand, it's just hard to feel like sometimes I'm doing this alone."

"I'll always be here for you." Emma promised.

She sealed the promise with a gentle kiss. It was soft, barely a brush of their lips, but Regina had other ideas. She locked her arms around her wife's neck and deepened their previous kiss shamelessly. It never failed to amaze her how after seven years of marriage, Emma could still make her feel the same as when they were in college.

Regina's thoughts were interrupted by the egg timer going off, she pulled away reluctantly with a smirk on her face, "Looks like your time is up, Ms. Swan."

"It's Mrs. Swan-Mills actually. You shouldn't let my wife hear you call me that, I hear she can be quite possessive." Emma teased.

"Wouldn't you like to know." the brunette responded with a wink.

* * *

**A/N- Let me know what you thought, as well as any ideas you may have for a future installation of this series, any issue you could see Emma and Regina fighting over in raising Henry or any cute moment that you would like written!**


	2. Parking Lot Safety

**A/N-****This is the first in a SERIES OF ONESHOTS. You know what that means folks, stay tuned and check my profile to see when I add another one. They will all be titled Parenting Differences- (and then something else) and they will all be based in a similar AU where Swan Queen is established and pretty damn perfect.**

**I was amazed by the response to the first one-shot, hopefully this one will be as well received. **

* * *

"I don't see what the problem is, it's a first grade field trip to the farm, Regina." Emma plead for the fifth time as she hefted the case of water out of the shopping cart and into the trunk of the Benz.

"The problem isn't just the field trip. The problem is that you fail to see everything that could go wrong." The brunette insisted. She was standing with one hand securing the shopping cart and the other held safely onto Henry's hand. For his part, the five-year old didn't seem to realize he was the subject of the disagreement.

"It's a farm. It's not like they're going on a wilderness adventure."  
"Regina visibly cringed at the idea of her son on such a trip, "That doesn't mean something won't happen. I mean what if he's attacked by one of the animals, or what if he gets rabies?"

"Really Regina, rabies?"

The brunette shrugged noncommittally. As she was about to deliver a well formulated response, Emma miscalculated the clearance on the cart and a gallon of milk collided with the edge, almost sending the cart toppling over, Regina dropped Henry's hand and stabilized the cart just before it could hit her precious Benz.

She shot Emma a glare communicating her entire 'don't scratch my car' speech in five seconds of eye contact. Emma was the one to break the stare as her gaze lifted just above Regina's shoulder, the brunette saw her wife's eyes widen in panic. Before she could question the sudden change in demeanor, Emma yelled out, "Henry! Get out of the road!"

Regina whipped around to see their son stumble back to the safety of the parked cars as a Jeep sped by.

Emma was around the cart in a flash, crouching before Henry, and holding both his shoulders in her hands, checking him over for injury.

Regina was right behind and both women shared a look, Emma was the one to make the decision, "You take the cart back, I'll talk to Henry."

The brunette was reluctant to leave, but did as her wife asked. Walking back from the cart corral to her family, Regina watched a dark look pass over her son's face as he stared sadly at the asphalt of the parking lot. Through the entire ride home, the five year old was suspiciously silent and he went to play quietly in his room while his mothers unloaded the groceries.

"What did you tell him?" Regina asked once they were alone.

"Don't worry about it." Emma smiled, clearly proud of herself, "It shouldn't be a problem again."

Henry remained quiet all through bathtime and even through the reading of his favorite story. He only perked up when Regina told him he would be allowed to go on the farm visit with his class next week.

* * *

_"Mrs. Mills"_

"Swan- Mills." Regina corrected automatically, earning her a proud smirk from the blonde seated across the desk from her in the mayoral office.

_"Mrs. Swan -Mills,"_ the bubbly voice amended, _"I'm calling you from Storybrooke Elementary in regards to your son, Henry."_

Immediately, the brunette's blood ran cold. All possible worst consequences ran through her head. Today was the day of the field trip.

"Is Henry alright? A note of panic threatened her normally stern tone. The question made Emma's head snap up from where she had been perusing some zoning requests.

_"Your son is fine ma'am."_ The voice paused, lacking either the confidence to continue.

"So what exactly are you calling me for?"

_"It's just that, well Henry's class was at the farm this morning, and um-"_ the voice was giving Regina a headache. She couldn't help but snap.

"Spit it out." She barked into the phone. Emma looked at her with an expression that was equal parts scolding and entertained.

_"Henry was disturbing the other children."_

"Excuse me?"

Emma was watching her wife carefully as the emotions on her face ranged from shock, to indignation, to faint amusement, before morphing into a blank mask.

"Yes, well I will talk with him this evening." Regina promised, and hung up.

"Is Henry ok?" Emma asked.

Regina ignored the question, "What did you tell our son last week when we were in the parking lot?"

Instantly a guilty expression took over Emma's features.

"I just told him something, one of my foster brothers told me when I was his ag." She said, trying to dismiss the question.

"Emma." The brunette raised an eyebrow in an expression that never failed to bend the Sheriff to her will, "What did you tell our son?"

"Itoldhimthegreasestainswerekids." She rushed out.

"Excuse me?"

Emma huffed, "I told him that the grease stains were kids who ran around in parking lots and got splattered by cars."

Regina had been expecting something like this, but hearing it from her wife was something else entirely, "In what world did you see that as a good idea?"

"Well he hasn't been run over in a parking lot, has he?"

"He was telling all his classmates that kids were splattered all over the parking lot at the farm!"

Emma couldn't hold back the laugh that bubbled from deep within her chest.

Regina reached across the desk and slapped the blonde on the shoulder, "It's not funny! He made three children cry!"

When the Sheriff's laughter only escalated, Regina found she could not contain her own.

"You're an idiot." Regina admonished between her laughs.

"Hey, I'm teaching our son new words!"

"Oh?"

"Splattered is a pretty advanced word for a five year old."

* * *

**A/N- I loved the idea posed by a guest reviewer of Emma and Regina getting into it at a soccer game with another parent and will definitely be writing one of those! Any other suggestions for future "Parenting Differences" installments? **


	3. Security Backpack

**A/N- Thank your for the reviews and follow/favorites. I loved the suggestions you left and will definitely be using them in the next few chapters, keep them coming :). This chapter is a bit out of order, but I like it where it is. **

* * *

It's ten thirty at night, and Emma Swan- Mills is freaking out. She's freaking out because her wife's due date was four days ago, and the closest she's been to labor is two false calls when Regina thought her contractions were starting.

Regina can't sleep because apparently the baby is being fussy, and he won't keep still, so she's laying on the couch, her head on Emma's lap. The blonde's feet are propped up on the table, and with one hand she is absently rubbing Regina's back, the other hand is preoccupied with a search on her phone.

"If you're looking at more ways to induce labor, don't bother." Regina says sullenly, running her hands up and down the sides of her stomach. She's passively watching some cooking show on the television, "We've tried everything. The long walk didn't do anything, the baby definitely didn't agree with the spicy food, and as much as I enjoyed the sex, I'm pretty sure it only works if it's with a man. Oh, and I don't care if I'm two weeks overdue, you're not getting me to take castor oil."

Emma laughs at her wife's bitter tone, but she knows how uncomfortable it must be for the brunette, "Don't worry, that's not what I'm looking at. I'm just searching for some cute baby stuff."

"Find anything good?"

"Yeah, check out this security backpack." Emma hands over the phone so her wife can inspect the product.

"It's adorable dear, but it looks no different from any other backpack. What makes it secure?"

"It's not just a backpack, it's got one of those harnesses so you just buckle your kid in, and then there's a leash that attaches to the bag that you hold." The blonde excitedly explained, "That way we won't lose him in a store or something."

Regina's face was unreadable as she scrolled through a couple of photos showing smiling children and relaxed parents, "So you want to put our child on a leash?" She says slowly.

"Yeah." Emma should have caught on to the tone of disbelief in her wife's voice, but it was late, and she was sleep deprived.

"Like a dog?"

"It's not like he's going to be wearing a collar." Emma immediately began backpedaling, "It's a soft harness attached to a fluffy zoo animal backpack."

"If we can't keep track of our son in a supermarket, we're going to have other more important issues in our parenting style." Regina said with a tone of powerful finality which did not match her large pregnant stomach.

"What if we go to Disney World, and we need to keep track of him in a crowd?"

"Then our son will know better than to run off. We're not putting him on a leash. End of discussion."

* * *

It's ten thirty in the morning, and Regina Swan- Mills is freaking out. It's a beautiful Saturday, and her small family was out grocery shopping before they planned to go to the park so Emma could 'teach Henry to fly a kite'. At eighteen months, Henry just barely started being able to run on his own. Regina know the afternoon will be spent coralling her son while her wife runs around the park like a fool with a kite.

She can't wait.

But that's all been put on hold because she lost their son. Emma had gone to the produce section, leaving Regina and Henry alone in the frozen vegetable section when the boy had gotten fussy being held on the brunette's hip. Regina places him on his own feet and grabbed a couple of bags of peas, when she turned back around, her son was gone.

She looked up and down the aisle, but the boy was nowhere to be seen. Panic settled in, seconds later as Regina sprinted to the end of the aisle, looked into the main section of the store, and found no trace of Henry.

Regina didn't even pause to think as she covered the entire right half of the store in record time, she was in the process of double checking the candy aisle when a hand on her elbow made the brunette spin around quickly.

"What's wrong, Gina?" It was Emma, and she knew- in the way spouses that are attuned to each other just know things- that something was amiss.

"It's Henry." Regina's voice was half an octave higher than normal, "I lost him."

It took mere moments for Emma to process the information and snap into sheriff mode.

"Where did you see him last?"

"Frozen vegetables. I put him down for two seconds, I swear. And then he was just gone."

"It's ok. We'll find him."

They split up, Regina covering the back half of the store while Emma took the front. The blonde went to the customer service desk, and they put out an announcement over the PA system.

A few minutes later, the couple regrouped at the front of the store. If not for the circumstances, Emma would have been highly tempted to laugh at her wife's disheveled appearance. The brunette's hair was entirely ruffled, her blouse was half untucked from her skirt, and her eyes were wide with panic.

"We've been over the entire store." Regina said once she was beside the blonde.

"What if he's not in the store anymore?"

"You don't mean-"

"Of course not." Emma lied. She wasn't about to admit to her wife that she had considered the possibility their son had been kidnapped, "He likes cars, maybe he just went out to look at them."

They both knew it was a lie, but they both exited the store anyway.

There was a moment's delay between when Regina heard her wife laugh, and when she saw what her wife was laughing at when she was sure the blonde had gone insane.

Then she saw it. Just outside the supermarket, Doctor Hopper was crouched down beside his dog, Pongo, a giddy Henry was patting the tall dog's head. The man smiled when he finally saw Emma and Regina, "Did this little guy wander off?"

The brunette was upon the boy in a second, lifting him up and hugging him tightly to her chest, "Henry!" Her voice was halfway between a sob and a cry of happiness, "Don't you ever run off again!"

Emma rubbed the boy's back, he seemed to have figured out that he was in trouble, and as such he burrowed closer into Regina knowing it was her weakness.

"He really loves Pongo." The doctor said, smiling at the family.

Regina's eyes flashed dangerously as she looked up at the man, and Emma could sense the impending explosion, "Well thank you, doctor, for keeping an eye on him." She covered smoothly, moving one hand to the small of Regina's back to try to guide her back into the store.

The brunette complied, but not without a glare at Doctor Hopper, and angry whispering once they were out of earshot, "How could he not have come in and found us when he saw Henry? That is incredibly irresponsible of him!"

"I agree, dear."

"What was he thinking, as if we would let Henry just wander around. Imagine if we hadn't gone outside when we did!"

"Of course, dear."

"I mean, what kind of doctor is he? He's not even a real doctor, he's a psychiatrist!"

"I know, dear."  
"Stop agreeing with me!"

"Ok."

Regina stopped short and leveled a glare at her wife, "Out with it. I know there's something you're just dying to say."

A small smile crept onto Emma's face, "It's nothing."

"Oh?"

"Just, this wouldn't have happened if we had bought that leash backpack I found the night before you went into labor."

Emma slept on the couch that night.

* * *

"Honey, will you take a picture of me with Goofy?"

"You are Goofy."

"Ha ha." Emma laughed sarcastically and bumped her wife's shoulder with her own before speed walking over to the man in the cartoon costume. Regina gave their son an extra application of sunscreen as they waited in the Florida heat for it to be Emma's turn to take a picture with the character.

That completed, Emma wound her way back through the crowd to her family.

"How'd I look?"

"Like a loon."

"But I'm your loon." Emma smiled, wrapping her arms around her wife's waist and pulling her in for a short kiss, forcing the brunette to drop their son's hand to place hers on Emma's cheeks.

When they broke apart, the just basked in the moment, of being together as a family in the happiest place on earth.

Emma broke the moment when she scanned around them quickly, "Where's Henry?"

Regina gave a short tug to the cord clipped to her belt loop, and a smiling six year old emerged from behind a display of stuffed animals just to their left.

He was holding a stuffed elephant, "He matches Ernie!" Henry declared excitedly.

"Yes he does." Regina confirmed.

"Hey Hen, do you like Ernie?" Emma couldn't help herself.

"Of course!" The boy happily tried to hug his furry backpack which was attached to the leash connected to Regina's belt loop.

"I knew you would."

* * *

**A/N- What did you think? Also, what's your take on security backpacks (I'm pretty sure I made that name up.) or other child leash things?**


	4. Swear Jar

**A/N- Thank you for the reviews, this was inspired by a suggestion from a lovely guest, so keep those coming!**

* * *

Regina had just finished mixing a pitcher of lemonade and was carrying it out to the backyard where she heard her two little carpenters hammering away at the fence. It was a hot day in the middle of the summer, and she had been nagging Emma to get to work on the sagging barrier for weeks.

She placed the tray on the table before walking over to inspect their work. Emma had her tool belt slung securely around her waist, it's pulling her jeans which are hanging dangerously low on her hips and revealing a nice amount of her lower back under her tank top. Henry has a small velcro tool belt with plastic tools held around his small waist.

The blonde has four nails held between her lips and is in the process of pounding another one into the wood when Henry's excitement at seeing the lemonade causes the young carpenter to bump Emma. Her hand slips, and the hammer keeps going, making solid contact with her thumb.

"Shit!" She hisses lowly.

Regina sends her a warning glare, and Henry's eyes shoot open.

"Momma said a bad word!"

"Yes she did." Regina confirms.

"You have to put a quarter in the swear jar."

"I'm sorry kid." Emma says, shaking out the injured hand and glaring at the hammer as though its singlehandedly responsible for the accident.

Regina pours Henry a cup of lemonade with a lid and straw to placate the boy while she pulls Emma's hand to examine the finger. It's an angry red with a small bit of blood escaping where the edge of her nail punctured the skin, "We should get some ice on this."

The blonde nods and follows her wife back into the house, once they got into the safety of the kitchen, Regina took one look at Emma's face, red from holding in the pain throbbing through her body. Her jaw was clenched tightly, "Alright, let's hear it, Emma."

That's all it took for the sheriff to let loose, "Shit, damn, ow. That fucking hurt. Holy balls, the hell was that?"

Regina pressed her fist to her teeth to laughing at the adorableness of her cursing wife. Emma rarely used bad words, but when she did, they were muttered quickly under her breath like a teenager not used to the taste of them in her mouth. Rarely did the words strung together make sense, and most of the time they included more non-swear words than actual swears.

"Freakin' son of a bitch. I hate that damn fence, why did I even agree to buy this damn house when it's old as a dinosaur and needs so much freakin work?"

Regina handed her wife and ice pack with a slight smile, "Are you done, dear?"

Emma had a sheepish look on her face, "Ow?"

"Does the ice help?"

"So much."

"Good." Regina kissed the back of the blonde's hand, "Don't forget about the swear jar, including what you said just now, you owe two dollars."

"Hey!" Emma called as the mayor began walking out of the kitchen back to the yard, "This so doesn't count, the kid only heard one 'shit'!"

Regina just laughed, "That makes two dollars and twenty-five cents!"

* * *

Regina Mills is normally an upstanding professional, she isn't late for meetings, she gets her work done on time, she handles meetings with ease. That all changed when she had a son, and she had to deal with babysitters. More precisely, the lack of babysitters.

The normal babysitter cancelled, and both Regina and Emma needed to be in the city council meeting.

Thus Henry found himself sitting beside Regina's feet underneath the table in the meeting room of city hall playing with a plastic dinosaur figure while an old man droned on about zoning requests.

The man presenting hit the next button to continue his PowerPoint but the screen went suddenly black, "Damn it." He muttered, pressing buttons in an attempt to get back to the slide he had been on.

"Swear jar!" A little voice yelled. All eyes snapped to where the sound had come from, and Regina's gaze shot down to her feet. Emma stifled a laugh when her wife turned bright red.

The mayor scooted her chair back and bent down to whisper to her son, "Henry, what did Mommy tell you about talking during the council meeting?"

"I'm not 'posed to."  
"Exactly, dear-"

"But he swore!"

Regina rubbed a hand over her temple and prayed for patience, "Yes he did, dear-"

"So he has to put a quarter in the swear jar!"

Henry had climbed his way up so that now he was situated in his mother's lap, getting dirt from his small sneakers on her pencil skirt. Emma was across the table from her wife with the biggest smile on her face while the rest of the council members just watched on, stunned.

"Well, yes, dear. I suppose he does."

With no further hesitation, Regina reached across the table, snagged her wife's half full coffee cup, poured the remainder into her own empty cup, and scrawled 'Swear Jar' on the cardboard in elegant script before placing the cup in the center of the table.

The man who had violated the rules of the swear jar looked at her incredulously, "Really, Madame Mayor?"

The raised eyebrow, and hard line of Regina's lips left no question that she was indeed serious. With minimal grumbling, the man fished into his pocket, pulling out his wallet, "All I've got is a five, does anyone have change?"

There was a unanimous call of "No." From around the table, and he glared as he shoved the bill into the cup. Henry smiled along with Regina.

* * *

Regina was sleep deprived, angry, and seriously not in the mood for the city council meeting. It was 5:20 at night and if Sidney didn't finish his presentation soon, she was going to finish it for him. All she wanted was to get home to her wife and son, it was Henry's first day of middle school and she wanted to hear all about it.

"So that covers the logistics of our proposed addition, we just need to go over a few fine details like budget for the decoration."

The mayor finally snapped, "Sidney, do you really think I give a damn about the decorating budget at this point?"

Sidney gaped, but Killian sitting a few chairs down from her smirked, "That's a quarter in the swear jar, Madame Mayor."

Regina rolled her eyes, but dug into her pocket nonetheless, and pulled out one of the many quarters waiting in there before dropping it into the glass jar in the center of the table.

Ever since the day years ago when Henry had called out a member of the council for a curse word, the swear jar had become an institution of the council meetings. Council members carried quarters with them to prevent having to sacrifice whole bills, and the money collected in the jar went to the coffee budget.

"I hate that damn jar." Regina muttered under her breath.

Killian was on her in a moment, "That's another quarter love."


	5. Scary Movies

**A/N- Hey, remember when I updated this story regularly like a month ago. Yeah me too. Sorry about that, anyway, this chapter is a bit longer to make up for my abandonment and it even has some College Swan Queen adorableness. Enjoy!**

* * *

Emma tried to look as natural as humanly possible while she sat on Regina's dorm room bed, and waited for the brunette to return. She was just between deciding on holding her hands in her lap, or putting one behind her to support her weight, when the door opened, making her jump.

She had been dating Regina for two months now, and she still was in constant disbelief that the amazing woman was hers. Thankfully, Regina didn't notice the jump as she was standing just inside the room, leaning on the frame.

A voice floated in from the hallway as Regina held one hand on the handle, trying to usher the person away. Emma smiled to herself as she listened to the part of the interaction she could catch, "Yeah, hang on a minute, dear."

Regina left the door cracked as she went to her dresser, Emma raised a questioning eyebrow which the brunette responded to with a subdued smile, "Duty calls."

Regina was in her third year at Wellesley College, and was currently serving as an RA. While she wasn't the most warm and friendly upperclass woman on campus, the girls on her floor trusted her entirely and she loved to care for them. She opened the top drawer of the dresser and pulled out a few tampons. Regina went back to the door and gave them to the girl shifting with a nervous expression, "Let me know tomorrow if you need anything else."

When Regina shut the door, and crossed the floor of her small single, Emma was watching her with an unreadable expression, "What is it, Emma?"

"Nothing." She said, pulling Regina down onto the extra long twin, "Just wondering how you can be so sexy in yoga pants."

"It's a gift." The brunette laughed, leaning down and pressing a kiss to Emma's lips.

Emma smiled, pushing up when Regina tried to pull away, and instead tangling her fingers in the brunette's hair.

Regina let it go on for a moment, before she pulled away, "Nice try, Swan. You're not getting off that easily, we're only halfway through the movie."

Emma groaned at the loss of contact, "Do we really have to finish it?"

"If I didn't know better, I would think you only come here for sex anymore." Regina teased.

"That certainly is one of the perks."

Regina lightly smacked her girlfriend upside the head, "Now what kind of example would I be setting for my first years if they see you slinking around here at all hours of the night and leaving before breakfast each morning?"

"I do not slink!"

"Of course you don't dear." Regina sat up properly so she could press play on the movie on her laptop, snuggling into Emma's side, "No more complaining, it's one of my favorites."

"Heaven forbid, you enjoy rom coms like any other woman." Emma whined, only half teasing.

Regina patted the blonde's thigh before pulling her down, maneuvering Emma into her favorite position as the big spoon, "Don't be a baby."

"I'm not a baby!" Emma froze in her comeback, realizing how much like a young child she sounded, "I just don't like horror movies."

"Silence of the Lambs is not a horror, it's more of a thriller." Regina tried to defend the movie, but Emma's protesting grumble made her switch tactics. She scooted back in the blonde's hold, pressing herself flush against her girlfriend, and pulling the strong arms holding her even tighter, "Be a good girl and watch the movie, and maybe I'll reward you when it's over."

That was all it took for Emma to shut up and silently endure the movie. She tried to appear tough, though each time a scary part would come onscreen, she would bury her face in Regina's hair, and try to not listen. Regina, pretended not to notice that or the tightening of Emma's arms, she just ran her fingers comfortingly over Emma's hand and up her forearm.

The next morning, Emma was dead asleep in Regina's dorm bed, a content smile was on her face. She was brought slowly back to consciousness by a gentle stroking up and down her arm, just as she was about to open her eyes and face the weekend she had entirely free to spend with her girlfriend, when a deep voice whispered in her ear, "It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again."

With a scream, Emma jumped about a foot in the air, and landed on her ass on the floor, she was halfway through rolling towards the door, when rich laughter stopped her in her tracks. Regina was laying on her bed, against the wall, her cell phone in one hand, the other pressed in a fist to her lips in an attempt to muffle her chuckles.

"Was that- Did you?" Emma tried to splutter out.

In response, Regina held up her cell phone, touching her finger to the screen and the recording spilled out again, "It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again."

Emma sat dumbfounded on the plush rug on the floor of Regina's room.

"I take it you really didn't like that movie huh?"

The blonde rolled her eyes, "You're a jack ass."

"You still love me."

Regina's breath caught in her throat, this was the first time that either of them had said the 'l' word since they began dating. Both women froze as Emma realized her slip up.

Her immediate response was to backpedal, but as she studied the hope in Regina's eyes, she resisted that urge, instead, she took the leap, "I mean, I love you, Regina." When the brunette didn't respond, Emma kept going. She was always a blunt instrument, and now she showed it as she plowed through, "I don't know if you love me too, and I know that we've been dating for only a couple of months, but I really do, love you I mean-"

Emma was cut off by Regina's advance, she had stood up from the bed, and knelt down on the rug beside Emma, "I love you too."

They just sat there for a moment with matching earsplitting grins, until a loud knocking on Regina's door drew them out of their little bubble, the knocking was accompanied by a frantic voice, "Regina! Are you alright?"

The brunette reluctantly got up from the ground, and crossed to the door, readjusting her nightgown on the way. She pulled open the thin wood to reveal her best friend, Catherine who was the RA for the floor directly above Regina's was standing there, concern etched deeply in her face.

"Regina, thank goodness. I heard a scream, and the first years have that seminar this morning, so I knew it was here and I just-"

"Catherine, deep breath," She smiled, nodding over her shoulder at where Emma was sitting with a goofy grin on the ground, "Everything is fine. Emma just had a little scare when she woke up."

The blonde took in the smirk on her best friend's face and knew that she would get the full story later, "Alright, remember, we have floor bonding tonight."

"Of course."

* * *

Regina tossed one last time in bed, before she finally gave up. She kicked off the covers, stealing the pillow from Emma's side of their bed, and trekking down to the main floor. It was the first night since Emma had left for the Sheriff Recertification in Boston, and already Regina missed the blonde.

On the way, she stopped in Henry's doorway to make sure the preteen was still asleep. He was all over the place, on arm hanging off the bed, the covers half off of him, a loud snore ripped from his open mouth- there was no doubt that the boy was a Swan.

Regina chucked as she ventured in to readjust Henry's blanket.

She then made her way downstairs and into the kitchen where she put the kettle on to boil, making a quick cup of tea, and taking it- along with Emma's pillow into the family room. She put her things on the coffee table and went to the TV, slipping a well worn DVD from it's case and into the Blu Ray just below the large flatscreen. She snuggled into the end of the couch, grabbing the remote and pressing play to start the movie.

Regina cuddled Emma's pillow to her chest and breathed in the familiar scent. It wasn't often that Emma had to travel for work, or otherwise so that Regina and Henry couldn't go with, but when she did, Regina never could sleep well.

She was about twenty minutes into the movie, when tired footsteps padded into the room. Henry was standing in the doorway, his favorite blanket clutched to his chest. He was twelve, but in moments like this, it was easy for Regina to see the little boy she used to tuck in with his favorite dinosaur toy.

Now though, he was halfway through middle school, and quickly becoming her little man- instead of her little boy.

"I'm sorry, dear." Regina said, pausing the movie, "Did I wake you?"

"No, I couldn't sleep."

He came and plopped down on the sofa beside his mother and took one look at the television- he knew what movie it was, having seen the brunette watching it enough times, though he was never allowed to watch with her. Emma always insisted it was too scary for the boy.

"Can I sit down here with you a while?" He put on his best puppy dog eyes so Regina couldn't say no.

"Of course." She lifted up her own blanket so he could snuggle into her side, "Do you want to watch some Disney channel or something?"

"No, can we just watch this movie?"

Regina contemplated the request. Henry was almost entering high school, and it wasn't like Emma raised a big issue when she played those darn war video games with the boy.

Henry could see her internal debate, and tried to sway things his way, "I promise I won't be scared, and if I am, I'll tell you and we can stop watching."

"Alright, just don't tell Emma when she gets home."

"I promise."

With that, Regina rewound the movie so that it was back at the beginning, and they settled in to watch together.

Henry did surprisingly well in watching the horror flick. He cringed only a few times, jumping when Lector lashed out at the paramedics in the ambulance, and Regina at least had the foresight to cover his ears when Miggs yelled at Clarice through the bars of his cell.

When the credits rolled, they both headed upstairs, and Henry allowed his mother to tuck him in like she did when he was a kid.

Regina herself, went to the master bedroom which always felt too big without Emma by her side, and curled herself directly in the middle of the bed- the blonde's pillow held tight against her chest. She fell into an easy sleep, interrupted only by a gentle hand on her shoulder about twenty minutes later.

She rolled over to find her son, standing beside the bed, he was worrying his lip between his teeth in a nervous habit that he must have picked up from the blonde, "Can I- uh, sleep in here with you tonight?"

"Of course, Henry." She scooted aside, making room for the preteen to slid in beside her. The boy fell into a fitful rest, hallmarked by tossing and turning, his worry was etched in his face, even in his sleep. Regina knew she had made a mistake in letting him watch the scary movie so late at night, she just hoped that she had enough time before Emma got home to try and fix it.

* * *

Emma returned from her work trip three days later, she was welcomed home with her favorite dinner and a long evening of snuggling on the couch with Regina while Henry finished his homework.

They retired to their bedroom that night, with one thing dominant on both of their minds, but before Emma could even edge her hand under her wife's tank top, there was a light knock on their door.

"Shit." Regina mumbled to herself as her wife rolled away.

"What's up, Hen?" The blonde asked, apparently not hearing Regina.

The boy opened the door and came up to Emma's side of the bed, "I had a bad dream again, can i sleep in here with you two?"

"Of course, kid." Regina couldn't protest as her wife scooted to make room for the twelve year old between them. Emma patted the boy's hair down, giving his shoulder a light squeeze, "Get to sleep now."

The next morning, Regina woke with a bony elbow next to her face, and a size twelve in her ribs. She didn't know what act of contortion her son had done in the middle of the night to allow for that feat, but somehow he hadn't shoved her or Emma out of the bed.

She untangled herself from the mess of blankets her son had created, and padded down the stairs, finding her wife brewing coffee.

"Did you wake up from the snoring or the stabbing?" Emma joked.

"The stabbing." Regina took a seat at a stool at the breakfast bar, "That kid's getting too big to sleep with us."

"Agreed. I wonder what's gotten into him, he hasn't had nightmares like that in years."

Regina sucked a lip between her lips, chewing in the evasive way that she did when she had to lie to Emma about something silly she had done, "I don't know."

Emma, picked up on the uneven tone of her wife's voice in seconds, "What did you do?"

"Noting." The brunette answered quickly.

"I know when you're lying Gina." Emma smiled, coming around the breakfast bar and cornering her wife against it, "You have that same look on your face as when you lied about my cat running away when we moved in together."

"Mittens really did run away!" Regina's voice went up a half octave in her lie.

"Mhm, sure. And why is Henry having nightmares?"

Regina squirmed as Emma's eyes bored into her, "We uh we watched a movie the first night you were gone because he couldn't sleep and I suppose it was not the best movie for him to have seen."

"Regina, tell me you didn't let him watch what I think you did."

"He wanted to! And he wasn't even very scared during the movie."

"Regina." The blonde let herself trail off as she tried to keep the smile off her face, it wasn't often that she was the one scolding Regina for a parenting thing, and she wanted to play this up for as long as she could, "I had nightmares after you made me watch it, and we were in college!"

"You got scared when we watched Fatal Attraction!"

"That bitch came up out of the tub!"

It was now Regina's turn to smile as she had managed to turn the conversation back around on Emma.

"You're right dear, it was quite scary for you."

"Hey I-." Emma stopped suddenly, knowing what her wife was doing, "No! You don't get to confuse me like this! I was having a high and mighty parent moment!"

Regina rolled her eyes, pressing a kiss to her wife's lips, "I think you may have fallen off your pedestal, dear. It's alright, it takes a while to get used to it up there."

* * *

**A/N- Hopefully you enjoyed it, next chapter will be Soccer Moms, I swear! Any suggestions, let me know, also drop a review to let me know what you thought and what your favorite scary movie is- mine is Silence of the Lambs (I watch it before my big tests) and also I love Fatal Attraction, ha I do enjoy the oldies, how about you all?**


	6. Soccer, Slander, and Split Lips

**A/N- So this is one I've been looking forward to writing for a while actually, and it's one of the ones which has been asked about most. It's got a bit of fluff, a bit of drama, some kick ass Emma, and some politician Regina, so hopefully you all enjoy!**

* * *

Henry is seven years old and just getting ready to enter the second grade when Emma finally convinces her wife to let the boy join a sports team. The battle was rough, but it was nothing compared to the resulting argument of what sport he would play. Regina was lobbying hard for volleyball while Emma tried repeatedly to tell her how it was a girl's sport. The mayor immediately ruled out football and baseball because of the potential for serious injury, and the final remaining option was soccer.

Henry didn't mind throughout the whole process, he was an easy kid and honestly just happy that his brunette mother had caved on the sports idea.

The first practice was a Tuesday afternoon in mid August, the week before school started. The small family drove together in Regina's Benz to the practice field.

From the moment Regina parked, Henry was out of the car like a shot, Emma trailed after him to kick a ball around while Regina went to talk to the coach. He was the director of the local community center, and she had worked with him on various town projects over the years- he was one of the few people she trusted her son with.

"Nice pass, kid." Emma smiled at Henry, even though the ball rolled about two feet left of his intended target.

The blonde jogged to where it had stopped and kicked it gently back to the boy who missed the ball entirely, it continued to roll past him resulting in him running down the field after it.

Emma smiled at the sight when she was pleasantly surprised by a pair of strong arms wrapped around her middle and a chin came to rest on her shoulder.

"We have a town hall meeting in fifteen minutes."

Emma leaned back into her wife's embrace, covering the brunette's hands on her stomach with her own and interlacing their fingers, "Please tell me that town hall meeting is code for something else."

"Get your mind out of the gutter, Swan." Regina teased.

"But it likes the gutter!" She whined.

"Maybe if you pay attention during the meeting, I'll entertain your gutter mind later tonight."

Neither woman noticed the couple at the edge of the field dropping their son off for practice or the way they shot Emma and Regina disgusted glares.

* * *

Emma arrived at home with an excited Henry after his second soccer practice, the team had their first game the next day. She trailed the boy into the house, finding him already bouncing with excited energy as he told Regina all about his day at school while the brunette finished taking everything out of the oven to have dinner ready.

"And in art class we used the water paints, and I painted a picture of the park." He trailed off.

Regina nodded along as she began setting the table.

"That's great. How was soccer practice, dear?"

"It was good." Henry said, and suddenly the seven- year old got a sullen expression as his eyebrows scrunched in concentration, "Mommy, what's a dyke?"

The glass in Regina's hand fell to the floor and shattered, "Wha- where-" She couldn't even form a full sentence, thankfully Emma was there to fill in for her. She grabbed Henry and lifted him up onto the counter, "Stay here for a minute, Bud while I clean this up. Where did you hear that word?" She asked, grabbing a damp towel to begin cleaning up the glass sparkling on the kitchen floor.

"Bobby Ungerman." Henry was confused with why his mother dropped the glass, she never dropped things, normally Emma did, "At soccer practice he said that he didn't want to play defense on the same side as me because my mommies were dykes."

Emma deposited the majority of the glass into the trash bin, looking to see what state Regina was in. The brunette had moved around the kitchen to stand in the doorway where Henry couldn't see her, she had tears gathering in the corners of her eyes, and it was clear she was doing everything in her willpower to keep them from falling.

"Listen kid," Emma started, coming to stand in front of her boy and rest her hands on his knees, "You know our family isn't like most families."

"Because we don't have a daddy."

"Exactly."

Henry's face brightened as he recited the line his mothers had taught him well, "But that doesn't matter 'cause I was made with true love."

"Right." Glancing around the kid, Emma saw tears running shamelessly down her wife's face, "But some people don't like things that are different. Some people don't like that your Mommy and I love each other. That word is a mean name for girls who love girls like Mommy and I."

"Oh." His small face contorted in a frown.

"Yeah, so we don't use that word. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Go upstairs and get cleaned up for dinner." Emma ordered gently, picking the boy up and walking him out of the kitchen before putting him down so he wouldn't step on any glass she may have missed.

Once Henry was safely upstairs, Emma turned to her wife. Regina was trying unsuccessfully to dry her eyes.

"Hey." She whispered, putting a finger under the brunette's chin so she had to meet Emma's eyes, "Don't you cry on me now."

"How can I not? It was fine when we got together, we were old enough and we could deal with it. Now, Henry has to. He's only seven." More tears slipped out in her explanation.

Emma pulled her wife into a comforting hold. She ran a hand up and down Regina's back, "Shh, he's a strong kid, and we can take care of this. We'll talk to that boy's parents and everything will be alright."

"Will it though?" Regina pulled back out of her wife's hold, "I never wanted this for our son, I never wanted him to have to go through what we went through." She began pacing slightly up and down in the kitchen.

"He won't have to. We can protect him."

"But what if we can't?"

"We're his parents, I have to believe that we can." Regina winced, and at first Emma thought it was because of her words, "At least we can teach him to be strong."

"Damn it."

"Don't say that, we can do this."

"Not that." Regina gestured at the ground, "I stepped on a piece of glass."

Sure enough, when Regina lifted her foot, there was a small smudge of blood. Emma couldn't help but let out a small laugh then.

Regina smacked her on the arm, but it was light and lacked malice, "Stop it, this isn't funny."

"I mean it's a little funny." Emma tried to justify.

Before she could stop herself, Regina laughed too. She shook her head at the craziness of the whole situation, "This is insane." Emma joined in the laughter, wrapping Regina in a hug once more. They stood for a while, just embracing and laughing while Regina finally got her tears under control.

"We're not very good at this whole parenting thing, are we?" Regina asked as she sat on the counter to examine her foot.

"Honestly? We could be doing a lot worse."

* * *

The next day at the soccer game had Regina ready for war and Emma looking generally grim. Though she did try to lighten the mood once they had dropped Henry off with the team and were headed to find seats in the bleachers.

"I can't believe you are wearing a pencil skirt and heels to a soccer game." Emma teased gently as they trekked across the grass.

Regina didn't falter in her steps, somehow managing to avoid her heels sinking into the dirt as she walked, "Everything is an argument, dear, even your clothing. Besides, maybe dressing like this will remind those oafs that I am the mayor."

Emma resisted the urge to roll her eyes and instead followed her wife up to seats about halfway up the bleachers.

"So where are these oafs?" The blonde asked.

Regina inclined her head to a couple two rows down, and a bit to the left of where they were sitting. The couple was sitting close together, they both had dirty blonde hair, the man was a decent few inches taller than Emma, but the woman was about Regina's height.

"I can take them." Was Emma's initial reaction.

Regina laughed at her wife, "Maybe if you had brought your gun as I had suggested."

"I've got my badge."

"You're not going to start a fight. We're going to have a mature adult conversation with the thick skulled dim wits, and tell them exactly where they need to shove their pathetic prejudices." Regina said with a completely straight face.

"I love it when you get all fired up."

"Shh, the game is starting."

They watched the game in relative peace. Regina for the most part sat and clapped politely when the small boys scored, Emma was much more animated- jumping up and down each time Henry got remotely close to the ball.

After the game, the coach gathered the boys to talk with them briefly, and it was then that Emma and Regina decided to make their move. They headed down the bleachers to where the Ungermans were standing waiting for their son.

Emma watched in amazement as her wife put on her politician smile and instantly morphed into the flawless mayor, "Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Ungerman." Regina said to the two who froze immediately when the realized who was speaking to them, "I'm not sure if you know who we are, I'm Regina, and this is my wife, Emma."

The blonde internally smirked at the way the couple flinched when Regina refereed to her as her 'wife'.

"Yes, we know who you are." The husband said with a slightly rough voice.

"Great." Regina said with false enthusiasm, "We were hoping to speak with you for a moment." Her voice made it clear that she was not asking, she was telling.

"What about?"

"It would appear that your son, Bobby, said something quite upsetting to our son Henry at practice yesterday." Regina paused then, giving the couple an out so they could apologize and avoid a real confrontation.

They weren't taking it, "I'm sure whatever Bobby said was true, your son needs a thicker skin." Mr. Ungerman said, his eyes were hard.

Emma couldn't contain her derisive little laugh, "Really?"

"Maybe if he had a father he wouldn't be such a pansy." Mr. Ungerman said.

That was the final straw for Emma, and she lost it. Lunging across the space separating the two couples, she hit the man solidly in the jaw with a right hook and the man landed flat on his back. Before Regina could even react, Emma was on the man, one knee in his chest, she held his collar tightly in her left hand with her right already pulled back and ready to deliver another blow.

"You had a father, what's your excuse for being a pansy? Can't even take a hit from a dyke." Emma taunted.

Finally, Regina sprang into action, "Emma." She said, grabbing her wife's right arm and pulling her up and off the man, "Emma, that's enough come on."

Behind them, Mr. Ungerman had managed to peel himself off the grass and was leaning on his wife for support. Blood trickled from a small cut in his lip, "You'll be hearing from my lawyer!" He yelled at the retreating women.

"I look forward to it." Regina shot back. They met Henry halfway across the field, Regina taking his hand and leading him back to the car. Emma trailing them protectively.

* * *

The next week at practices, when Emma and Regina would walk Henry out to the field, Mr. and Mrs. Ungerman would remain in their car. Henry reported no further confrontations, and they never did hear from the Ungerman's lawyer.

At the game on Friday, Emma and Regina took up their normal seats in the center of the bleachers, and the Ungermans sat as far away as they could in the far bottom corner. In the first period, Henry got the ball and made a fast break for the goal. Emma was up and out of her seat.

"Go Henry! Shoot it!" She yelled, jumping up and down, "Shoot it, Henry!"

He did just that and the parents of their team broke out into applause as the ball rolled past the goalkeeper and into the net.

"Good job, kid! That's my boy!" Emma yelled, clapping and pointing with a wide proud smile.

Regina was clapping enthusiastically with a matching smile.

In the next period though, Henry got the ball again and was making another run when a boy on the other team stole the ball and Henry fell over.

Emma was on her feet again, "Foul! Come on Ref, are you blind?"

"Emma, sit down."

"No, that was a foul!"

Regina did her best to hide an entertained smile as she hooked her fingers in her wife's belt loops, tugging her back down into her seat.

"But Regina," the blonde pouted with her bottom lip stuck out just like Henry did, "that referee is clueless."

"I know, dear."

"Oh, and since when do you know anything about sports?" Emma teased.

"I may have picked some things up being married to you."

"Really?" Emma flirted, leaning over into her wife's personal space.

"Maybe."

Just before Emma leant the rest of the way to seal her lips against the mayor's, she looked just over Regina's shoulder and shot a wink at Mr. Ungerman who was watching with a sour expression. There was a scab still below his lip from Emma's right hook.

* * *

**A/N- That hurt to write, but I also kind of love this chapter, is that wrong?**

**Either way, thank you for your continued support, reading, and reviewing. Quick shout out to **rowingioannina-NOI- **Yes you may recommend that one shot and you just might be getting it soon ;), thanks for that suggestion!  
And also to **EvilSwanQueen21- **Yes! I love jealous Emma or Regina and will totally do one of those as well, keep a look out for it. **

**Keep it coming with those great suggestions!**


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